Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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