tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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