VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
