Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
