This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
