I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
