i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
