Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
