When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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