And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
