i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
