I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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