No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
