her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
