why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
