Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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