Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
