im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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