even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
