You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
