Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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