I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
