he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
