My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
