I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
