I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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