I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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