If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
