...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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