finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
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oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
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It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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