i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize