Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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