i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
