My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
