oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
