I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
