He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
