Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
