mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
