So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
