So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
