i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
