he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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