Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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