Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
