I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize