This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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