Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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