I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
