It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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