Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
