you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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