God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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