I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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