don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
