I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
