so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
