Texts From Last Night

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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This girl is more easily done than said...

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  (+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha
  Replies (5) Good night (3338) Bad night (755)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (694) Bad night (4246)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm rooting for #1.

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  (270): possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th. (618): I'm rooting for #1. http://tfl.nu/ip6m
  Replies (37) Good night (4763) Bad night (1756)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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  (919): Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk. http://tfl.nu/sxlu
  Replies (11) Good night (1137) Bad night (5210)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

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  (587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp
  Replies (8) Good night (3041) Bad night (931)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (3621)
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  (347): View more from New York

  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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  (347): his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you. http://tfl.nu/crxb
  Replies (9) Good night (3322) Bad night (834)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers

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  (973): now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers http://tfl.nu/pdyb
  Replies (10) Good night (1547) Bad night (908)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.

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  (636): Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us. http://tfl.nu/w51y
  Replies (2) Good night (1769) Bad night (674)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.

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  (505): Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play. http://tfl.nu/a8rl
  Replies (6) Good night (450) Bad night (993)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.

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  (401): When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train. http://tfl.nu/aqj1
  Replies (1) Good night (1082) Bad night (337)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (324) Bad night (873)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.

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  (602): Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP? (602): Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know. http://tfl.nu/k0wt
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand

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  (207): What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand http://tfl.nu/crhx
  Replies (3) Good night (240) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet

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  (443): Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet http://tfl.nu/rex9
  Replies (0) Good night (198) Bad night (348)

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