Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So do you want to come over? ;)

(763): View more from Minnesota

Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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(678): View more from Georgia

His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit

(1-408): View more from California

I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going

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(559): View more from California

I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.

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