would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found puke in my bra..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
