God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
