is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
