last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
