i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
