So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
